Does Love lead to Suffering?
Pick up any news paper around the world, and one can see misery and suffering all around. Leads many of us to think as to what are we doing wrong which is leading to sufferings all around. If one introspects, one realises that suffering is an integral part of life. Suffering does not lie outside but it lies within one self. For example, India's loss to Australia in the Tri Series in Malaysia would have let to major heartache for the Indians where as the same episode is a matter of rejoice for the Australians. So in net effect suffering does not lie with the external world, but happens due to the results not in tune with our own wishes.
This may seem to be quite contrary as we always try to externalise our problems and try to eradicate the same by trying to change the outside world. But as a matter of fact, we are too small to keep changing the external world and most of the time things do not happen in the manner we want, leading to suffering for us. So it means that sufferings happens due to the attachment that we create for the view that we hold and the attachments that we create. So does it mean that we should not have any views or attachments to be free from suffering. Not really. Suffering is lead by the attachment that one creates. So to get rid of sufferings, we need to have compassion and detachment.
Lets talk first about compassion in relationships.
All relationships should be based on compassion and not on passion and transactional view point.
The moment we do it, we do not suffer due to things not happening as per our wish. For example, loving a son/daughter just because a father feels that they would fulfill his dreams is a relationship based on attachment. If the son/daughter do not fulfill the dreams of the father, the father is bound to suffer pain and relationship turn sour. But if the children are brought up with compassion and detachment, they will be allowed to pursue their own dreams and create their identity leading to a beautiful relationship between the child and the parent. Does it mean that in a relationship based on compassion there is no suffering? No, thats not the case. The suffering is still there, but it creates a positive energy to over come the hurdles. For example, the people who stayed near to the place where bomb blast happened in Mumbai in July this year, were moved with compassion and help out the injured even at the cost of risking their lifes. It did cause them suffering, but it also made them to overcome the same and reach out the ones in need of medical help.
How can one have detached views?
Detachment to ones views means the ability to look at something beyond ones own views. How does having an attachment to ones views impact worklife. Inability to have detached views, leads to inefficiency as we cannot find innovative solutions as we are happy with the old ways of doing things. It leads to performance getting stuck and puts obstacles in the path of the organisation or the individual to move from good to great. It impacts the ability of the individual to collaborate as he/she is not able to appreciate the view point of other members and also it leads to inefficient working environment.
So one needs to live a life of compassionate love for all beings in order to find happiness for oneself.
This may seem to be quite contrary as we always try to externalise our problems and try to eradicate the same by trying to change the outside world. But as a matter of fact, we are too small to keep changing the external world and most of the time things do not happen in the manner we want, leading to suffering for us. So it means that sufferings happens due to the attachment that we create for the view that we hold and the attachments that we create. So does it mean that we should not have any views or attachments to be free from suffering. Not really. Suffering is lead by the attachment that one creates. So to get rid of sufferings, we need to have compassion and detachment.
Lets talk first about compassion in relationships.
All relationships should be based on compassion and not on passion and transactional view point.
The moment we do it, we do not suffer due to things not happening as per our wish. For example, loving a son/daughter just because a father feels that they would fulfill his dreams is a relationship based on attachment. If the son/daughter do not fulfill the dreams of the father, the father is bound to suffer pain and relationship turn sour. But if the children are brought up with compassion and detachment, they will be allowed to pursue their own dreams and create their identity leading to a beautiful relationship between the child and the parent. Does it mean that in a relationship based on compassion there is no suffering? No, thats not the case. The suffering is still there, but it creates a positive energy to over come the hurdles. For example, the people who stayed near to the place where bomb blast happened in Mumbai in July this year, were moved with compassion and help out the injured even at the cost of risking their lifes. It did cause them suffering, but it also made them to overcome the same and reach out the ones in need of medical help.
How can one have detached views?
Detachment to ones views means the ability to look at something beyond ones own views. How does having an attachment to ones views impact worklife. Inability to have detached views, leads to inefficiency as we cannot find innovative solutions as we are happy with the old ways of doing things. It leads to performance getting stuck and puts obstacles in the path of the organisation or the individual to move from good to great. It impacts the ability of the individual to collaborate as he/she is not able to appreciate the view point of other members and also it leads to inefficient working environment.
So one needs to live a life of compassionate love for all beings in order to find happiness for oneself.
